How to Approach Women – 3 Actions To Remove Your Fear
The market is flooded with how to approach women books. The 5 signs she’s ready to talk to you. The 33 ways to get her out on a date. The 1.5 billion ways to seduce women. I don’t know about you, but I used to read this stuff and feel intimidated to even think about using it to approach women.
Sure, I wanted to know HOW to approach women. But it in reality it wasn’t the HOW that was a problem. It was having the ‘guts’ to do it! Getting over the fear. That was my block. I remember back when I was 16.
I was out with 4 mates in a bar, up in York. Sorry, did I say 16? I meant 18! There was loud music pumping out – conversation was nigh on impossible (I was old before my time really!). A few of my friends were out dancing on the floor, while I just skulked around the edges. To be honest, pubs and clubs weren’t my scene, but I felt like I had to go regularly just to have any chance of finding a girlfriend. Like I said, I was mooching around on the side of the dance floor, trying to look cool and casual, sipping my drink just a bit too often. Then my eye was caught. A really stunning women, up on the balcony was staring straight at me. You know how it is; instinctively you know when someone is looking at you. I looked, our eyes met… and we lived happily ever after J Er, no! Not a chance. In fact our eyes met, and faster than forked lightening my eyes darted off, my cheeks redened and I got all exicited.
Wow – she was hot though. And she was looking at me! To cut a long story short – she spent the next 5 minutes looking over at me. I’d pluck up the courage to look back, but our eyes were like opposing magnets, every time she looked at me, I just couldn’t hold my gaze back at her. Finally, she got fed up and moved on. I couldn’t blame her really. I spent the rest of the night, scanning round trying to catch a glimpse of her – simultaneously kicking myself because I was such a putz. This wasn’t an isolated event either. In fact it could describe almost any evening I went out. It played out virtually every weekend, often once or twice a night. Sometimes more! Finally, I’d had it.
I was beginning to hate myself for it. I just had to change, because I was never going to find a beautiful girlfriend, let alone a partner if I couldn’t even introduce myself to the women I wanted to approach. So what did I do? I bought and read virtually every book I could to do with dating and talking to women. And you know what? It still didn’t help. The bottom line was – it wasn’t that I didn’t know HOW to talk to women. I just didn’t have the guts to. I was too afraid of being rejected. I was too afraid of what it meant if they got bored and left me after 5 minutes. I didn’t feel like I could get with anyone as beautiful as some of the women that were flirting with me. I didn’t need 101 ‘techniques’ to seduce women.
I just needed to get over my fears of approaching women. I needed to stop making a big deal out of this very first part of dating, but I didn’t know how. Happily, it all ended well. Partly because of my frustration with my shyness/fear, call it what you will, I forged my career becoming an expert on dating and relationships. What I learnt allowed me to break through my fears and learn how to approach women and actually enjoy it! Yes, ENJOY IT! Unbelievable! But what did I learn, that you can use to break your fear of approaching women? 3 Actions To Eliminate Your Fears Here’s 3 actions to take to help you start to eliminate your fears of approaching women. 1. Answer this question What does it mean if a women rejects you? What does it mean to you? Your answer to this question is likely to be something significant. Maybe it’s saying you’re not a fun /nice person, or you’re boring. What does it mean for you? Note that for those who don’t have a problem with rejection, it probably means nothing.
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